Admit it: you hate Valentine’s Day.
It’s that scam of a holiday invented by flower companies and greeting card manufacturers to cheat you out of your hard-earned cash.
Instead of going to some overcrowded and overpriced restaurant that will just be full of infuriatingly lovey-dovey couples, pop in one of these seriously anti-Valentine’s movies to set the proper mood on February 14th.
(Do you secretly love Valentine’s Day? Then this other list is for you!)
This movie was originally titled Be My Valentine, Or Else… It begins with a Valentine’s Day theme and then, well, a bunch of people get murdered. Take that, romance!
There may be some undertones of a love story in this movie, but what could kill a romantic mood better than THIS?
If you were ever called “mentally immature” for making fun of Valentine’s Day, then it might be time you popped in The Vampire Lovers. This movie specifically says that it’s not for the mentally immature, but pay no heed to that warning. It turns out immature people are exactly its target audience! It’s vampires plus love without all of that Twilight crap to ruin it.
Oh look, it’s a movie about an evil woman who sucks the life out of everyone she meets. I’m not bitter! I just really want to watch this movie on Valentine’s Day even though it obviously has nothing to do with my feelings towards the holiday or relationships or anything. Totally unrelated, I swear!
Ah rage—the anti-love. If the words “betrayal” and “revenge” describe your love life, this movie is for you. Legacy Of Rage stars Brandon Lee (son of martial arts legend Bruce Lee) and is about, well, betrayal and revenge as he goes on a warpath seeking vengeance for being wrongfully imprisoned.
Happy Valentine’s Day!